Dealing with Difficult People
Every so often, all of us find ourselves having to deal with a difficult person. Tact and diplomacy comes hard. But it can be learned. Having a sense of humor helps. Here's some study materials:

- Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 
- The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 
- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 
- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 
- I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 
- What am I? Flypaper for freaks? 
- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 
- I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 
- Ahhh...I see the f***-up fairy has visited us again... 
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 
- It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 
- No, my powers can only be used for good. 
- How about never? Is never good for you? 
- I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 
- You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication. 
- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 
- I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... 
- I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 
- Who me? I just wander from room to room. 
- My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys! 
- It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. 
- At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits. 
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 
- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 
- Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.